I’ve always been haunted by this imaginary version of myself. The where I “should be” version of myself. Constantly feeling like I’m so far behind him, not where I “should be.”
HE has everything figured out and knows what he’s doing. HE’S successful and I am just trying to keep up with him, but always falling short. If only this or that did or didn’t happen in my life, THEN I would be the main character instead of in the background toiling and trudging through mud while HE effortlessly floats through life. I beat myself up for not being in his mud-free shoes.
But he isn’t real! He’s an amalgamation of a lifetime of societal norms, unrealistic pressure on myself, and completely made up in my head.
I am exactly where I should be, making forward progress. And sometimes life is just muddy, and that’s ok.