You can force someone to smile, but you can’t force someone to smile.
So often when people in my life didn’t act how I wanted them too, I would give them the silent treatment or a passive coldness so they knew they were wrong and should change. And sometimes they would “change,” they would give me the behavior or responses I wanted from them… for a while.
And while I thought I was “expressing my needs” and helping them be a better person, I was just trying to control and manipulate them. Asking them to show up as someone other than themselves. Forcing them to smile on the outside and thinking that meant they were actually happy.
But you can’t control people. You can’t force people to be what you want, to say and act like you want them too. Express your needs, and if they can’t bring that to the table, and it’s something you really want, let them go.